


Comfort

by warsfeil



Category: X/1999
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-06
Updated: 2012-06-06
Packaged: 2017-11-07 01:44:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/425536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/warsfeil/pseuds/warsfeil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Subaru and Kamui take comfort in each other, but neither one has a normal perspective on comfort.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Comfort

It wasn't terribly unusual, these days, for the two of them to sleep together. After Kamui had won the battle, after Fuuma had said goodbye with a hitch in his breath and a laugh behind his eyes, Kamui had screamed until he'd gone hoarse, and he screamed the same way every night all over again when he slept. The first time, everyone had rushed to his hospital room and woken him up. The second time, the nurses didn't come. By the fifth time, only Subaru made action; to hold his hand, to murmur words until Kamui calmed down.

When he'd been released from the hospital, they'd gone back to the empty house. Arashi was gone, by then; she'd gone for Sorata's funeral and then left. She hadn't gone back to Ise-- what good would she be now?-- and she hadn't told anyone else where she was going. Karen had started her business again, Seiichiro was with his family (divorce cancelled, crisis averted), and Yuzuriha had gone back home, taking Inuki with her. 

Kamui and Subaru stayed, because they had no one to go home to.

The first night in the house, Keiichi purposefully visited them. He didn't know what had happened, or why Kamui seemed to be hurting so much more than he had been before, but he chattered at them and made them slightly burned pancakes and insisted they eat. When was the last time they'd made anything to eat? It wasn't healthy to skip meals!

Kamui hadn't smiled, but Subaru saw a light in his eyes that hadn't been there the day before, and Subaru was glad. 

Subaru went to bed with Kamui, that night and all the following nights, cradling him protectively when Kamui would have the same repeating nightmares and wake up crying. He buried his face into Subaru's chest and couldn't talk through the sobs, and Subaru held him back. What did either of them have left, now, but each other? Subaru had mourned already, but it was still fresh for Kamui.

A month and a half after they started staying in the house alone was the first time they had sex. Kamui had dreamed of something that had never happened, woken up screaming and aroused and buried his face into Subaru and cried for all he was worth for things that hadn't happened and maybe would have if things hadn't-- if they hadn't--

They had. All the tears in the world couldn't change that anymore than the fact that Kamui wanted what he couldn't have, and Subaru had reached around to be a substitute. Kamui pushed his face into Subaru's neck and breathed steadily through it and wondered if this meant he was even more terrible, now, that he'd let someone he loved get him off while thinking so strongly of someone he couldn't stop loving no matter how hard he tried.

"Subaru," he breathed, at the end, and Subaru kissed his forehead. 

It repeated the next week, and then two days after that, until it was a regular occurance. 

"Subaru." It's a moan and a gasp, Kamui's hands reaching up to move across Subaru's chest like he was trying to reach for something. Halfway through the motion, Kamui failed at whatever he'd been trying to achieve-- or maybe he just forgot, hips raising to meet Subaru's slow pace and quietly demand something harder. Kamui latched his hands around Subaru's shoulders and neck, holding on. "Subaru, please--"

It's a trend Subaru has noticed, lately. For all that Subaru wants to treat Kamui like he's made of glass, Kamui demands something else, in gasps and wordless encouragement. Fuuma's left his mark, and even with Subaru, Kamui wants it and isn't even fully aware of it, Subaru doesn't think.

Subaru hesitates for a second, and Kamui squirms when he stops, opening his mouth to beg again-- and Subaru takes advantage of the moment to plunge back in, hard enough to make Kamui raise up. He doesn't scream and doesn't act like it hurts, just moans, digging his nails into Subaru's neck without realizing he's doing so. Subaru leans down and bites Kamui's collarbone, bites his neck, sucks hard at the flesh until his mouth hurts and red marks the pale skin, and each time Kamui gasps. For a split instant each time Subaru thinks to pull back, thinks that he's hurting Kamui, and each time Kamui clings and moves and _writhes_ and Subaru knows that if he is, it's what Kamui wants.

He drags his nails down Kamui's sides and bites hard at a nipple and Kamui buries his face into the pillow to muffle the sounds he's making. Easily embarrassed even in the middle of all of this, and Subaru wishes that he could show Kamui how it _should_ be, how neither of them ever got to be, but there's no one around to grant wishes, now, and they'll have to make do.

"S-- Subaru!" Kamui manages, arching and stiffening as he comes, and Subaru digs his nails into Kamui's thighs and the flesh there. Kamui lets out a small choking noise before falling back onto the bed, shivering with the aftermath, and Subaru pulls out and uses his hand before Kamui can notice Subaru didn't finish otherwise.

"Mmm," Kamui murmurs, rolling over to sleep against Subaru, burrowing his mess of dark hair just under Subaru's chin as Subaru pulls the blankets over both of them. Subaru knows Kamui will have dreams again tonight, but hopes that for once they won't be nightmares.

**Author's Note:**

> Written about a million years ago for a last author standing challenge, for the prompt "rough sex".


End file.
